Tuesday, May 26, 2009

and now for something, Completely Different

We're starting to pack up our stuff.  I looked into using the Indian Postal Service's Parcel service. Here are some excerpts from their webpage:

"Parcels containing articles or great value like container or a wooden or a stout cardboard case according to the nature of the article."

This sentence means?  Ok, not so bad.  How about sub-item 3:

"(3) Live-bees must be enclosed in suitable cases and so packed as to prevent all risk of injury to other postal articles in course of transmission by post or to officers of the Post Office."

Followed closely by the next section, which I give you here, verbatim:

"Human and other viscera :-

               Human and other viscera may be transmitted by the Inland post to Chemical Examiners for analysis.  Brains of rabid animals may also be transmitted by  post to authorized laboratories when sent by persons holding veterinary or medical qualifications. The following conditions apply in each case:-"

Ugh.  Also sendable by Parcel are:

"Plague culture and Anthrax Spore vaccine :-

Tuberculosis Sputum :-     

                Infectious tuberculosis sputum  may be transmitted by post subject to the following conditions:-"

Now we know why the postal workers are disgruntled, eh?  

Then there's this.  

"Osmic Acid:-

             Osmic acid (Osmium tetroxide) may be transmitted by the Inland Post subject to the following conditions :-

(a)    The acid must be securely packed in a hermetically sealed stout glass capsule which should be embedded in the centre of a tin case filled with sand in such a manner as to leave a layer of sand of not less than  4.3 centimetres between any part of the glass capsule and the inside of the tin case.

(b)   The outside of the tin case be labeled in red letters one quarter of an inch high “ OSMIC ACID DANGEROUS TO HANDLE”."

If anyone wants to tell me, 1. what osmic acid is, and 2. why the heck it should be 4.3 cms and not 4.25 or 4.41, and why if this stuff is so gank the red letters are only to be 1/4"?  Stout glass, people.  Stout.  KG approves, I'm sure.  We will not be using Indian Postal Service Parcel Post, except for our shipments of "Strong Smelling Articles :-"  (that could be a 'p.u.' smiley at the end there, huh?)

That is all.



1 comment:

Susannah said...

GAHHH! RABID ANIMAL BRAINS!